The Bold & Courageous Leader Podcast: Episode 17
Rhonda: Welcome to the Bold & Courageous Leader Podcast from rhondapeterson.com. This is Rhonda Peterson, your Bold & Courageous Leader coach, along with my co-host Andee Marks.
Today we have Beth Boehr on the podcast with us. I met Beth several years ago, and we have gotten to know each other quite well over time. Beth is in a really interesting journey, and she has started a business called My Love Legacy. Today, she is going to share with us about her journey with My Love Legacy; where it came from and where she’s going. Welcome Beth. So good to have you here. Can you share with us what started The Love Legacy journey?
Beth: Our pastor always reminds us everyone has a story, and my journey started with my own life story. I lost my mom when she was 49 and I didn’t realize God was preparing me for the time I would lose my husband when he was 48. He died of and sudden heart attack. The following summer I just felt the Lord put on my heart, I needed to organize all this material of getting all your things in order on paper. I didn’t know why, but I ended up with a hundred plus page workbook of helping people to organize many different areas of their life on paper.
Again, that sudden loss of you’re in shock, you’re dealing with life and we don’t want to deal with life. Most of those decisions can be made ahead of time. It takes a tremendous amount of pressure off you and your family.
Rhonda: That’s so true and I’m imagining that when you lost your husband and he was 48 years old, you weren’t thinking about the fact that you were going to lose him, obviously. If it was a sudden heart attack, you didn’t anticipate that. Through that, you learned, because you had to pull those things together I imagine, because they weren’t all in one place.
Beth: Right. I mean they were somewhat in order but not near to the extent I’ve got them organized now.
Rhonda: Because you learned that through your own experience. Tell us a little bit about some of the papers you had to pull together because there’s more to it than just papers being pulled together.
Beth: Right. Some of it is just making sure your beneficiaries are up-to-date. I find many times that the deceased spouse is still on or an ex-spouse or whatever. That’s a really important thing. Then maybe you don’t even have a will, so that’s one area. This is an interesting area; we cover even pets. Many people have pets that are very dear and close to them and so who would you want your care provider to be and all those kinds of things. We try to stretch your mind into areas because we think okay, will and documents and those kinds of things. There’s personal wishes and desires we need to get put on paper as well.
Rhonda: That’s part of what this has evolved into hasn’t it? Because it started out as one thing, and it’s now become more than that.
Beth: Exactly. And now I’m pretty excited about this; I just hired a graphic designer yesterday to finish my second book which is Love Legacy Letter and that’s what matters most to you.
Rhonda: So you mentioned that the second book is Love Legacy Letter, what’s the first book called?
Beth: Love Legacy Ledger.
Rhonda: Okay, so you have the Love Legacy Ledger, and the Love Legacy Letter. And the Love Legacy Ledger, is about the nuts and bolts of life.
Beth: The Ledger is the practical side of life. It is, it’s the nuts and bolts. A lot of paper. The Letter is the emotional, the heart of it. It is what do you want to be passed down? What stories, what memories do you want to be passed on through the next generations? I love how the Bible gives us story and example after example of lessons and stories that have been passed down through the generations that we’re learning from now. And I think, how important it is that one, we remember what they are and then we record what they are. We make sure there’s a place to put them so that they can be handled through the different family members through the next generations.
Rhonda: That is something that is really important, but we usually don’t think of that until we’ve had an experience where we’ve lost someone or those questions that we want answered, we can’t get to them anymore. Unless we have somebody that’s prompting us, so that’s the beauty of something like the Love Legacy Ledger and the Love Legacy Letter. The Ledger has been an ongoing struggle for me, because I’m not somebody who’s administratively gifted and so I don’t tend toward keeping those things as updated as I should.
Nor do I have them in one place so that if something happened to me, my husband and my kids would have a challenge to find everything. It is an important thing to think about this and to be aware of it. Tell us more about what you’ve learned in providing this service for other people or in providing this resource for other people. What have you learned in sharing this with other people? In walking the journey with others?
Beth: It’s pretty exciting when you get testimonials back from people. One was a client that lives in Tennessee and he sent me a thank you note because his wife was taken suddenly to the hospital, and he grabbed his legacy ledger with him to take to the hospital. He didn’t have to think about the answers. He had all the important forms with him and documents. It took so much pressure off him and he was so grateful for that.
Rhonda: That’s an important piece to know. And the ledger is the part that’s the nuts and bolts. The practical side of things.
Beth: Power of attorney, the will, the life support documents, those kinds of things.
Rhonda: Those kinds of things that the people at the hospital are going to ask you, “Do you have this, that, or the other thing?” To be able to say, “Yes I have it and here it is,” is a very empowering thing at a time when you’re not feeling very empowered on much of anything. I know from our experience when my husband was in the hospital that the last thing you want to think about is those practical details, but they are important to know and to have with you, if at all possible. That’s part of why the Love Legacy Ledger is very helpful for people. What are some of the challenges and struggles that you’ve faced in your own journey that have shaped how you’ve put together the Love Legacy Ledger?
Beth: Well, there was some complications after my husband died with a business he owned. Just needing documents, again not having to spend hours to look for documents and stuff… again, I can’t express the pressure it takes off of you. To know that you can go put your hands on something. This is a more recent story. Last October I had to have a surgery. I had had the same surgery 16 years before and the doctor said can you scan over your reports and the pathology report?
Rhonda, in less than five minutes I had it in my hands, because I went back to my 3-ring binder that I keep all my important documents and my ledgers. I pulled out the medical reports, scanned them over to the doctor, it was done. If I wouldn’t have done this, I would be, “Oh my word, where did I file that? What did I do with it?” All those old medical records are all in one place. It’s wonderful.
Rhonda: That does make it very handy, especially for somebody who has a lot of that kind of information in their background because they’ve had medical issues or whatever. The more of that that we’ve experienced, the more we recognize that someday we’re going to need this again and how can I put my hands on that easily? That is how it worked out with the Love Legacy Ledger. Now tell me more about how you’ve started to see that the Love Legacy Letter, how did that come to be?
Beth: Part of it came from my coaching with Rhonda because I realized that the practical side is extremely important but that wasn’t really my “why”. It was something I knew needed to be done, but my “why” is… I wish I had my mom’s voice on a recording, hearing about her experiences or letters from Tim. We never had all the deep discussions about some of the things in the future that at 48 and 46 you’re not thinking about. What I don’t have in my life is what I want to give you and others; those opportunities that you still have because mom or dad are here, or your aunt and uncle. Whoever has been significant in your life.
Again, it’s just impressed upon me. God has taken me… the book of Nehemiah is instrumental in the Love Legacy Letter, of why I’m to do this. I believe we need to rebuild healthy walls in our family. We need to tear down the unhealthy ones and get healing. We need to communicate our feelings. We don’t know how to communicate. I have a big vision for the Love Legacy whole picture in having a retreat center that gives you intentional opportunities to have intentional conversation with each other. Just like you need a little nudge to finish the Ledger book, we need a focused time to say, “Our family is coming together with the intent to get some healing accomplished, or to get our heart on paper and let the ears of our loved ones hear what is on our hearts.” We’re just developing this program. Again, God has given me a vision, and I’m learning to trust him for the journey.
Rhonda: That’s a really powerful statement. It’s one step at a time isn’t it?
Beth: Oh my word, yes. It’s been baby steps.
Rhonda: It has been, but every baby step takes you closer to the vision and you now know what your “why” is and that’s so important. When you talk about your “why,” share with us a couple of examples, because I know your office is full of really amazing examples of Love Legacy Letter type artwork and experiences that you’ve had that tell the story of your legacy for your family, for your children, and your grandchildren. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Some of those things that are in your office.
Beth: On the wall, I get a lot of comments about this; I have the old, oval bubble-type frame and inside the frame I have probably 15 different family watches that have been different types of watches. I’m in investments. I tell people it’s about time in the market, it’s not about timing the market. But the beautiful thing is, when I look at those watches, I know which one is my mom’s. I know which one is my aunt’s. I know which one was my grandpa’s. They’re meaningful to me. I think if something’s going to take space on your wall, it should have meaning.
Rhonda: That’s a very powerful statement and each one of those watches has a story behind it because of the connection to that person that was a significant person in your life. Have you shared that with your children? Do they know the stories of those watches?
Beth: It depends on the ages of our children. I’m finding the closer your children get in their 40s and their earlier 40s, they begin to have more of a desire to know the stories. It seems like in your 30s, your kids are still young for the most part and you’re trying to figure out parenting. When we’re getting into our 40s, we’re starting to put life together better and appreciate life. Maybe I want to know about that. Why is that important to you mom?
Rhonda: That’s a good point. Sometimes you have to wait until the ears are ready to hear the story before you can share it with people. Our legacy does shape us. Whether we recognize it or not, where we come from shapes us. For better or for worse, it shapes us. How does your Love Legacy Letter book talk about where you’ve come from and the experiences you’ve had? Tell me more about how the book actually taps into that.
Beth: We ask probing questions to stir your mind and to stir your thoughts, to stir your heart and to encourage you to begin to write those memories down. It was interesting today in bible study, I think the word that God has really impressed upon my heart for me, the word for me is remember. I believe that is what he is calling me to help people do, to remember. Sometimes that’s painful, sometimes it brings a smile and laughter to us, sometimes it brings tears. But all of those emotions are healthy, but we don’t take time to feel them or even express them.
Rhonda: That’s probably one of the best things that the Love Legacy Letter can do with those probing questions, is bring the emotions to the surface. If they’re below the surface, they will impact us. They will shape us whether we want them to or not. If we allow them to come to the surface and deal with them, we end up the better for it. We can share our legacy more effectively when we know fully what it is. Beth, as we think about our own legacy, whether it’s the nuts and bolts, the practical side on the Love Legacy Ledger or the Love Legacy Letter. What is it you would like our listeners to know about their own love legacy of their life?
Beth: The importance it has because God has uniquely and individually made us for a specific purpose, to touch specific lives during our lifetime. I think that has a pretty important calling on us to think all those experiences, I believe God is in every detail of our lives. All those circumstances, situations, experiences have culminated into who we have become. Sometimes there’s people in our life that have made a greater impact that we never realized. We never took time to say thank you. Do you know how you impacted my life in this period of my life?
Sometimes it takes that reflection time for us to even connect that in own heart, let alone going to that person. Think how empowered you would feel if you know you had a significant impact in someone else’s life. It’s powerful.
Rhonda: Absolutely. Thank you for being with us Beth on the Bold & Courageous leader podcast. For those who are interested in the Love Legacy Ledger and the upcoming Love Legacy Letter, there will be contact information in the show notes that will tell you how to get in touch with Beth.
To find out more about today’s topic, get downloads of our previous podcasts or to learn how you too can become a Bold & Courageous leader, visit rhondapeterson.com. Our ever-growing community is waiting for you. If you liked today’s show, there are three things you can do. You can subscribe to the podcasts on iTunes or Stitcher. You can give us a rating or a review on iTunes. The subscriptions and ratings help others to find us more easily. And you can help us get the word out by sharing the podcast with your friends. This is Rhonda Peterson, your Bold & Courageous Leader Coach. Thank you for listening. We’ll see you for the next Bold & Courageous Leader Podcast.
For more information on Love Legacy Ledger or Love Legacy Letter, contact Beth! Email: mylovelegacy@gmail.com Phone: 419-358-4146
