Yesterday I attended a holiday party hosted by a new friend of mine. I’ve known her for less than a year and took a chance to attend her party. I wasn’t sure if I would know anyone. To be honest, I was hesitant to go. For those of you who know me, that may be hard to believe. I am an extreme extrovert. I can talk to pretty much anyone. But those first few minutes in a new environment when I am “flying blind” make me incredibly anxious.
Guess what? I had a fantastic time! I rekindled some old connections that can be very beneficial in the new year. I reconnected with a woman I worked with over ten years ago, who happens to be this woman’s neighbor! I met some delightful new friends. And I made some connections that could lead to new business in the new year!
AND I gained an even deeper appreciation for my friend. I’ve found her delightful; funny, caring, passionate about her work, both paid and volunteer. By seeing into her circle, I can see that she is all this and more.
The Benefit of Positive Relationships
This week we’re focusing on relationships, specifically the benefits of positive relationships. We are created for connection. Positive relationships are an integral component in flourishing. When we have positive relationships, we are free to contribute. These authentic connections allow us to give our best to others, while supporting us as we do so. We’re encouraged to grow and stretch by those who support us, who want the best for us and are honest and transparent in providing feedback.
Corner 4 Relationships
Dr. Henry Cloud refers to the benefits of these positive relationships in his book, The Power of The Other. He calls these relationships Corner 4 relationships for their ability to not only build us up when we do well, but to give honest, constructive feedback when we fail. This type of relationship provides a place where we can be fully honest with self and the other so that we can grow to our highest potential. We don’t have to hide our failure or fear reprisal if we aren’t perfect. In this relationship we can trust our friend to be there for us, to have our back. Dr. Cloud talks about Corner 4 relationships in this video.
Do you have positive relationships in your life, those people who have your back and will be honest with you? Some of us need just a few very close friends, while others crave more connections, having a close circle and then a larger group of friends they connect with. Either way, we need positive relationships in our lives.
Developing More Positive Relationships
If you’d like to have more positive relationships in your life, consider these questions:
- Who are you currently connected to in authentic relationships?
- Do you have Corner 4 people in your life?
- Where you can connect to authentic people?
- How might your expectations of those you connect with impact the quality of your relationships? Don’t play a blame game, but be honest about any experiences in your life that might set you up for relationship frustration.
In January, I am starting the Activate Your Masterpiece mastermind group for leaders who want to step into their masterpiece work. Members of a mastermind build Corner 4 relationships within the group. If this sounds good to you, join the wait list here.